Fear

Fear of loneliness?

Fear of death?

Fear of getting lost and not being found?

A fear so overpowering I want to turn back

I break into a  cold sweat

A part of me wants to cry

My heart thumps

Why?

Why should I feel so scared when I am in my natural habitat?

Among the trees, earth, air from which I came?

Why can’t I be vulnerable?

Why do I need to be in places where I feel safe?

Why am I afraid to surrender?

I decide to give in  to what is meant to be

I decide to look into fear’s eyes squarely

And shed that heavy black cloak that was pulling me down, almost to my knees,

making it so difficult to breathe,

And I feel free instead

I feel protected and am ready to face what is meant to be

I realised it was me who  was holding onto the black cloak

I could not look into fear’s eyes. They were not there, they were reflections of my own

(Blue Mountains, NY, Aug '14)