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| Statue of Liberty at night (Battery Park, 12th Dec 2015) |
Last night I had the honour of being part of a wonderful experience-I was witness to an eclectic collection of self expression by many within a friend’s apartment in Brooklyn. As I was heading home in the subway with Erica she said, “So after that amazing experience, do I just go home and sleep? That doesn’t feel right-I just want to go home and write about it”-I agree-it was an experience that should be put into a time capsule. This morning, a friend commented on a note I wrote 3 years ago about connecting to the compassionate and loving sides of ourselves (https://www.facebook.com/notes/kama...) and she observed that I had come a long way since then and I agree that my experience in New York has contributed greatly towards this. Triggered by these two things and also realizing that I am at my two week mark for my departure home, I felt that I needed to collect my thoughts and vignettes of my experiences which have helped me evolve spiritually in the past 2 ½ years in USA-because life’s experiences and our spiritual journey are intrinsically linked to each other.
Opening my mind and soul to diversity - Last night encapsulated what I love about New York the most-it’s incredible diversity and culture, which is informed and infused by people who were either forced to migrate to this country, who came here in search of a better life or are 1st,2nd or 3rd generation migrants. While I have thoroughly enjoyed the polished talent of opera singers, actors and musicians, what I have seen at the Apollo Theatre, in the subway and at open mic night last night are performances that have moved me the most. I feel so connected to the vulnerability of these people giving their all with so much passion and reverence to make that break in a city that promises so much to many. I have felt that my heart would burst just watching and listening to them bless us with their talent, like last night- I felt so honoured to listen to a girl (Dominique) perform in public for the first time and a dancer (Erica) accompany and support her-it was beautiful. New York has helped me “see” people beyond their brisk and detached strides – I see their incredible talent and desire to live and express themselves. Their lives have also stimulated my mind about the immense challenges and racism many people face on a day to day basis and the constant fight against it all.
Understanding privilege and power - Working at an International NGO has also helped me explore the dynamics around racism and inequity within organizations and across many spheres. I moved from being one of the most privileged majority groups in Sri Lanka as a Sinhala Buddhist, to a minority group. I have understood the struggles of the minorities, African Americans and those from the global South at a much deeper level through the many stimulating conversations I was lucky enough to have with my colleagues. I have felt the need to be guided by the South African term “Ubuntu “ (I am who I am because of who you are) more than ever given the terrible crisis’ tormenting this planet today.
Unconditional love- When I arrived in Baltimore I found myself on the doorstep of an amazing family which almost immediately absorbed me into theirs. They showed me what it was like to be magnanimous and welcoming, and I appreciated it even more as I was the recipient of their love-which kept me going as I yearned for home and that Sri Lankan cup of tea :-) . I was also lucky as I had an Advisor and Thesis Supervisor who also treated me with so much love. I made amazing friends and met inspiring people at a university that kept the health and wellbeing of other at the centre of it’s work.
Touching my work - My volunteer work at PAWS (NY) was very humbling. In Sri Lanka I have carried out my community and volunteer work mainly from the comfort of my desk or from a position of authority. I have been a person who will strategize, network, develop concepts and guide implementers. At PAWS NY I had to use my hands again-I had to clean litter boxes that were sometimes infested with cockroaches and I more or less counselled my client, a persevering and big hearted woman who was disabled and had such a giving heart. Touching, feeling, getting dirty and messy with our work is so important to fully experience it.
I found my voice - it took me 40 years but I finally felt confident enough to express myself as I wanted to in my work around women and girls. I was able to push the Sri Lankan government to investigate an alleged rape and murder case of a girl, which would have gone underground in the blink of an eye had I not taken action. Subsequently I found myself writing articles for the online papers as I was tired of pursuing journalists to write about GBV and these were well received. This confidence led me to pair up with an amazing woman I know to present a secondary data analysis at one of the most prestigious global conferences on GBV in South Africa. A few friends also seeded the thought of starting my own organization at home based on the messages I was putting across. Time will tell how my plans will work out but I have learned the importance of following my passion and being authentic as I have finally realized that we can truly move mountains with our faith.
Seeking connectedness - Through my experiences of living in this huge city I understood the need for authentic connectedness. I have seen too many peering into their phones and tablets instead of communicating and feeling the person right next to them. Last night one of the poets said that the “I” in“Iphone” stood for focusing on the “I” and blocking out others. I wanted to explore what I treasured and I realized it wasn’t the glitz, glamour and money that a place like New York could offer, but the love, warmth, authentic friendships and connectedness of my family and friends from home. I have also learned to feel, connect with and honour nature, trees, earth and animals around me.
My spiritual practice - There are many more lessons and they are too many to list here, but I needed to end with the best and most important. All these experiences have helped me land gently in this important path of inner and spiritual exploration. I have told many that I felt that I was meant to live in New York to develop spiritually. A few years ago I believed that I could only do that towards the latter stages of my life, but I learned from my Reiki teacher in Sri Lanka that as humans we are meant to live and grow as spiritual beings while getting on with our daily lives. That is when it becomes meaningful. A few may know that I am a Reiki initiate and being one has brought so many amazing things into my life and I have had the honour of helping many through my practice. In New York I found another great teacher who initiated me into Adepthood which opened many doors of self exploration and finding the light within. But I also learned that teachers can be found in many places-through experiences as mentioned above, or friends who widen my horizons by sharing their practice or through interactions with people down the street, my cats’ former owner or even by the unconditional love shown by my own pets.
Our best teacher - But I think perhaps the most important lesson I have learned in the past 2.5 years is that we are our best teachers. Through my intuition and curiosity I have explored many traditions across the peoples of Africa, Asia to the Native Americans and religious approaches of Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism and Sufiism. I have realized how they complement each other and how synchronized they all actually are. I have also journeyed inward to see my dark and messy self, which is also known as “Shadow work”. I have understood the need to balance the inner darkness with the light. I think we are the best judges of what our souls need to seek it’s true self.
I have also come full circle to my note written in 2012 to understand the importance of loving my self in a way where I know how to honour my inner voice and how and when to draw boundaries. I have also learned how important it is to view all beings as extensions of myself and be more compassionate. I have learned how love and faith can truly move mountains.
What will be next is yet to be discovered, but I know that everything will unfold as it is meant to.
..and now to the next step in my journey :-)
